Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I miss my husband

I miss my husband

We are all doing well here.  SO tired.  Having a hard time adjusting.  I do not remember the adjustment after Jack's birth being this difficult.  Perhaps it is because there are now 3 I have to take care of and work into a schedule.  Anyway-we all feel out of sorts.  

Addison is getting so big.  I'm not sure how much she weighs, but I am sure it is well over 6 pounds.  She is now wearing newborn size clothes (rather than preemie size).  I just can't believe it's been a month since she was born.  It has gone so fast.

One of the hardest things right now is that R-Jay and I can't sleep in the same bed! Addison has been having a hard time sleeping due to congestion in her nose.  She can't sleep unless she is nearly upright.  So she sleeps in the swing in the living room.  One of us sleeps on the couch so we can hear her when she wakes up and the other sleeps in the bedroom.  It sucks.  I suppose more relaxed parents would be able to sleep together in the bedroom with a baby monitor on, but we worry too much.  Hopefully this won't last much longer.  It's been hard on us.  You don't realize how much you enjoy even just being near each other until you aren't anymore.  Hence the title of this post.

I have been working a lot on a mini 6x6 album of her first days.  I love it!  I will take some photos and hopefully post them in the next few days.  That album is nearly done.  Once it is, I will be working more on her 12x12 album.  I purchased the Becky Higgins Kit of the Month called Sweet Baby.  I'll share more of that as I get it done too.  It is nice having a kit that has pre-organized pages where all I have to do is fill in the photos and the information.  So fun.  The paper and the embellishments are not exactly my style, but I'd rather just have the pages done.  Documenting her life is the most important thing--not what paper I use.

Have a great day everyone! And tonight as you climb into bed with your significant other, think of me alone on my couch and be grateful for even the little blessings!! :)  

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Birth story

The Story of Her Birth

On Wednesday March 4, I was having a lot of contractions.  I had been having contractions more and more over the preceding few weeks so I didn't think too much of it.   My doctor had said I needed to take it easy and not do very much since that was what triggered the contractions.  I had been trying but that is really hard for me.  This day I had a big burst if energy.  I had made several lists and plans the day before.  This day I started to do those things--add some last minute things to my hospital bag, sweep and spot mop the kitchen floor, do a few loads of laundry, straighten up my bedroom and make the bed, straighten up the bathroom, double check the packing lists for the boys stuff.  I was reading my journal entry from when Jack was born, remembering everything.    When R-Jay got home from work, I went to Walmart looking for a calendar with a picture of the beach to use as a visualization photo for labor.  But they didn't have any.  I was planning on looking somewhere else another day.

R-Jay left for his 2nd job as a math tutor and I was left to give the kids a bath and put them to bed.   I'd felt great all day but by late afternoon and evening I felt crummy.  They took a very short bath and we read only a few stories.  By 8 pm they were in bed.  I looked around the house and thought "I really need to straighten up.  But I don't feel good.  R-Jay will be home tomorrow so he can help me clean up."  So I just sat on the couch and turned on a movie.  At one point Sam came out to get a drink of water.  When I went back in with him, I looked out the window and saw it was snowing! So Sam and Jack had to look too.  Sam started to get a little upset and said "If spring never comes, then the baby will never come."  

After that I continued watching my movie.  I was so engrossed in it that I did not get up to go to the bathroom for about an hour (which is a long time for a pregnant lady!).  When I was finally in enough pain at about 9:55 pm, I stood up and felt a small gush of fluid.  My first thought was "oh no."  But then I just brushed it off telling myself it was just because I had to go to the bathroom.   R-Jay got home just a short time later.  I told him what had happened.  He was not all concerned.  We talked for a while.  I watched the last few minutes of the movie.  Then I decided that I should go to the emergency room.  I was concerned.  I got my hospital bag finished off and put into the car.  I was feeling foolish for wanting to go to the ER and R-Jay kept saying "Better safe than sorry.  Just go and find out that it is nothing and come home."  I told him that him saying that made me feel like I was overreacting and that maybe I shouldn't go.  Then I had a really big contraction that stopped me in my tracks and made me double over.  So I went.  R-Jay stayed home with the boys.  I had another big contraction on the way to the hospital.  It's a good thing it only takes about 5 minutes to drive over there.  By the way--it is really hard to park the car when you are having a strong contraction!  It was about 11:45 pm when I arrived.  I went in and was feeling impatient with them to check me in because I was scared and knew that something was not right.  I got to labor and delivery and they got me settled into the observation room.  A really nice nurse started checking my vitals, hooked me up to a fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff.  They tested the fluid and told me I was definitely in labor.  I was nervous for the baby's safety but excited too.   I called R-Jay and told him I was in labor to hurry and come down.  I also called my mom and asked her to come and stay with the boys.  R-jay called my good friend Michele to come and stay until my parents got there.  He arrived at the hospital at about 1 am.  He seemed almost bursting with excitement.  

The nurse told me that the hospital did not keep infants who were born before 36 weeks.  Since this baby was coming at 35, we could either transport me to Salt Lake to deliver or I could deliver here in Tooele and then rush the baby to Salt Lake if there was a problem.  When my doctor arrived, we talked a little bit about it.  Since they said they could give me something to slow down the labor, I decided to go to Salt Lake.  Because of a snowstorm they could not bring the helicopter.  So my doctor called the University hospital and the ambulance team were on their way.  The nurse put in an IV with fluids, antibiotics and magnesium (to slow labor).  R-Jay and I waited while my contractions got worse.  He helped me breathe through them.  At about 2:30am I began to have a hard time staying on top of the contractions.  The nurse told us the ambulance was still about 40 minutes out due to the snow.  I told her it was getting bad and I would shortly need an epidural. I was sure I would not make it to Salt Lake.  I was afraid of having contractions like this for an hour and a half in the ambulance.  Not long after I'd arrived at the hospital, the nurse had checked me and I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  When the ambulance team arrived a little before 3 am, they checked me again and I had not changed much-maybe a half cm.  I was having such terrible contractions though. The ambulance nurses said I probably wouldn't make it to SLC.  Alicia started checking on the anesthesiologist so I could get an epidural.  The flight nurses decided to wait 10 more minutes-- if i was a 4 or more, they could not take me.  During that 10 minutes, the contractions got incredibly intense.  The pressure was almost unbearable, it made me cry out.  I knew the baby was coming and I kept thinking "If I am only a 4 and the baby is coming, what will that mean?" I was very afraid of tearing.  That fear made it much worse I think.  At about 3:10 or 3:15, they checked me again.  Then the chaos began.

I heard Alicia say "She's 100 %!" People started running around, shouting for the OB/GYN and the pediatrician.  They needed to get me to a delivery room but because the contractions were so bad (I was crying out and screaming--embarrassing!) they could not move me over there.  They just wheeled the bed into the next room.  As they were moving me, I kept thinking "Wait! What about the epidural?"  Then I realized I would not have one and would have to do it naturally.  I was terrified.  Luckily by the time I realized that, the really intense contractions were over.  When we got to the other room, the doctor got ready and everything was ready for the baby (about 5 minutes), they told me I could push during a contraction.  3 or 4 pushes later, she was here.  Born at 3:26 am!  It all happened so fast!  

Once she was born, they put her on my chest and a calm descended on everything.  All the chaos was over.  She was perfectly healthy.   It was so nice to just snuggle her. I had her for such a long time after she was born--even before they weighed her or checked her out.  I guess they could tell right away that she was fine!  

All in all it was a pretty smooth (though really fast) birth.  It was pretty awful for me but I feel extremely proud that I did it with no medication.  I do not handle pain very well.  But I did it!

So there is the story (finally)!  We are all doing great now.  She's growing fast and is so adorable!  Thank to everyone who've given us so much help and love!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

More photos

One week old today!

Addison and Daddy

What can I say about this face?

Jack is getting used to this new little creature!  And I think he likes her!

This is from today.  So sweet!

When we find the time R-Jay and I will corroborate our stories.  Then I'll be able to share the birth story with you.  We have to work together since there are a lot of details I can't remember (I was in a bit of pain at the time!).  It's a crazy story though!  Check back soon! 

Saturday, March 7, 2009

She's here!

Addison Sage Wilde

Thursday March 5, 2009
5 lbs 7 oz
17.5" long
3:26 am
Our family

Addison holding tight to her daddy

Look at the pride on that handsome face! Sam loves his sister!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Almost there!

I think it's funny...

that my boys sometimes bump their heads on my belly when they walk by!  It's getting kind of hard to miss!

(aren't I brave for posting this photo?)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

So loved

This is what I saw when I got out of the shower this morning...

8 boxes of my favorite cereal.  R-jay had gone to the store this morning and gotten me some.  I told him that I don't know what to eat if i don't have this cereal--it's all I want in the morning.  He left for work and I got in the shower.  He came in a while later and said that he had left a surprise for me on the counter.  I thought it was this but I did not expect to see so many boxes!! He's such a sweetheart.  I can't help but love him!